Class #1-99 Luftballons

So today began day one of the Self-Motivation Seminar Class, and ladies and gentlemen this class is comedy GOLD! In a minute we will get to the class activities for the day, but first we must cover the following conversation that took place BEFORE class even began.

Oh, and BTW, apparently this class begins as a giant CLUSTERFUCK as half of it has been split and are supposed to be in class the weeks we're supposed to be online. The worst part...we have to be online for that class when we're not actually in the room as in there is a set time period where we must be ONLINE AT THAT TIME (8:30-10). This has put a damper in my plans of not actually bringing my laptop to school. I may live five minutes away, but I cannot drive, park and walk to my English class in that ten minute window when we are done...sigh, I hate the word mandatory.

We open up the class with the following conversation between one student (who later on admitted to being confident to the point of being conceited) who we shall name Money and a young lady who we shall name Anh. The conversation began as Money sat down and sees Anh have her laptop out and open.

Money-Can I check my Facebook?...*Anh passes him her laptop, after a few seconds*Can I add you?

Anh-That's awkward.

Money-*to other girl at table* Can I add you too since you since you have you have your laptop open?...*awkward silence*...I love social networking.

I told you, COMEDY GOLD. Now you're probably wondering WHY I have posted the pictures of the balloons and the title of this post. It is actually in reference to our first class activity. You see as our Motivational Speaker began the class her assistant was blowing up balloons. She then told everyone to stand up, and to keep these balloons afloat for five minutes, do not let them touch the ground or everyone is getting a F for the day.

The class stood and one by one the balloons were released to the masses. My hat goes off to Money for a beautiful slide kick to save one of the balloons from hitting the floor. Though the back of the room seemed unaffected and not involved, I apparently was at ground zero and keeping balloons afloat left and right. As we finished I discovered via M.S. when asked that this exercise was not an example of anarchy, though I still beg to differ. Apparently it was an example of teamwork and communication, though I say everyone trying to keep balloons afloat with no sense of order with the result being death is a form of anarchy.

We then moved on to groups, wrote our names and wrote a little bit about where our names came from and what they mean, etc etc. I was apparently with the only group with any personality and or backstory. We discovered that Anh's parents never really told her why they named her what they did. They coped to why they named her sisters, but not her. Well, one day, she was five and she sees in a beauty salon nail polish bearing her name...and broke into tears thinking that is what she is named after. This however is not the best story.

This person, who will be named NAWC (you'll see why) told the story of his name...or should we say his father's. Apparently his father's father had run off to California with a white lady and that for some reason his grandfather had named his son after said white lady, I'm assuming prior the leaving, and now they had the first name of some white lady...as he told us I'm not a White Chick. He goes by his middle name and is tired of people on the phone thinking he is a woman because of this and once again he is not a white chick. COMEDY GOLD.

We ended the day with coming up with Outer Behaviors and Inner Beliefs that make one a good student. Each group made a list and we went around and gave our list. Many...MANY of the groups had different words, all with the same meaning. Though our M.S. did like my suggestion on non-narcoleptic as a good Outer Behavior.

We then voted on our top five...and I just shook my head. These kids really have no idea what it takes to be successful in the REAL WORLD. One does not need GOOD MORALS to succeed in the real world. Kids these days...

Sadly we still do not know where the future comes from...the search continues...